Wounds can be complex.

From June 2016

Sometimes healing needs to come from many directions.

I help people with some of the deepest and most misunderstood human experiences – Sexual assault, abuse, trauma and grief. Most of us like to think we understand what it must be like to have these experiences. Until we go through them. And then we realise that we didn’t really have a clue. 

Then we feel bad for anyone we ever judged in our ignorance and we wish we could help other people to not feel so alone and misunderstood. I’m so lucky, because I can. I have a great skill set for this. The most valuable one is the compassion I gained from having these experiences.

These are experiences that change you profoundly. They can leave invisible scars that run in deep and complex patterns and affect every aspect of who you are, how you are and what you do. As a society, we are not well prepared to deal with them. These subjects make most people uncomfortable and so they tend to attract a lot of judgement and a lot of pressure to “get over it”. 

This can typically result in people either becoming completely entrenched in their wounding , or becoming very successful at leaving the experience behind and not dealing with it at all. One polishes and tends to their wounds and puts them on display as a badge of honour. The other buries theirs and pretends it isn’t there. (This is not a judgement. I have done both on different occasions, but neither is very helpful.)

So why do I do my work? Because I can. Because I get it (and so many people don’t). Because there is a need for it. Because these issues affect so very many people. It is estimated that one in four people have experienced sexual assault or abuse. Due to the high amount of non-disclosure it’s impossible to verify this figure, but it’s probably higher. Some people will never know that they’ve been abused because it happened when they were so young, or they were traumatized into suppressing it. The effects are still there. 

They will play out in low self worth, feelings of inadequacy, a drive for perfectionism, addictions, thrill-seeking pursuits, destructive personal relationships, promiscuity, illnesses, weight issues and more. Often, when abuse is denied or suppressed, there is an imprinting passed down to the next generation. 

Abuse on any level plays out in much the same way. It is a corrosive force on self esteem and innate value. 

Trauma is another experience that is extremely difficult to quantify and has nothing at all to do with logic. Certain stimuli can recreate the initial trauma experience as if it were happening all over again. Even if we logically “know” that we are in no current danger, the terror experienced is not diminished and our response is beyond our command. Whether physical, emotional or mental, trauma is a highly individual and “internal” experience. What could be widely accepted as a major event may leave no trauma trace at all, while another, seemingly minor event may inexplicably trigger full blown PTSD symptoms. Kooky stuff.

Grief is another area that we are ill-equipped to deal with as a society. There are many forms of grief. There is the classic bereavement, when a loved one passes away, but this seems to have a time limit and many other expectations upon it. There is far less allowance for the passing of a pet, but this can be just as intense when the attachment is strong. Likewise, the loss of a job, lifestyle, identity, relationship or mobility can also involve a grieving process that is no less valid and needs to be acknowledged. 

Any and all of these experiences will have an impact on the physical body. We are not separate physical, spiritual, emotional and mental beings – we are all of these things simultaneously. The cells in our body have a memory and an intelligence. What happens on one level, affects the others. If there are emotions, trauma or stress mixed in to the cellular matrix of a particular physical injury, then it may not fully resolve until they are addressed and released. Likewise, the physical release of a myofascial trigger point or painfully tight muscle may be accompanied by an emotional release. We can store all kinds of stuff in our bodies and energy field. 

My hands have developed such sensitivity over more than a decade of working with bodies, that I can feel the areas of disharmony below the surface of the skin and in the energy field around it. My personal experiences have gifted me with a great compassion for the experiences of others. My studies have earned me skills in many areas, such as human behavior, remedial bodywork, counseling, life coaching, teaching, energy work and vibrational medicine. My intuition has developed to a level where it is another useful tool, which allows me to apply my skills in the most appropriate way. My integrity is high and my own experiences allow me to hold space for others. I can’t easily explain what I do, but I can show you. 

I can help you release what can’t be seen, remembered or talked about – through touch and on multiple layers. I will guide you to greater self-awareness and self-care strategies which will allow you to begin to recognise and unravel all of the damage, strategies, compensations and beliefs that you have taken on. Because I am leading you through terrain that I’m familiar with, you can trust me. I try to embody the techniques that I use. Gentle, profound, nurturing, powerful, healing. 

*Photo by Elijah O’Donnell from Pexels.